About Shades of Gray

The lyrics for “Shades of Gray” were written to promote understanding of the complex characteristics involved with the diagnosis of autism and also to recognize our obligation to develop an active role in the lives of individuals with autism. Acknowledging and learning from the words and/or actions of individuals with autism are keys to developing relationships with them. It is important not only to accept individuals with autism as they are, but to know why they do what they do and act how they act. Learning an individual’s motivations can help us enter his/her world. Acceptance does not have to be a passive event, but a doorway to reciprocal understanding. As we learn from individuals with autism, we are given the opportunity to teach them to better understand their feelings and move beyond tolerance of their world to shared enjoyment.

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For Parents and Professionals

Parents:
You know your child better than anyone.  Autism is not scary to those who understand it.  But, sometimes friends or family members don’t know how to begin to understand autism, or may have a difficult time recognizing that autism is not the only characteristic that defines your child.  We wish for “Shades of Gray” to be a means of opening up conversations between you and those family members and friends who are interested in getting to know your child.

Professionals:
For those of us who feel we could describe characteristics of autism to others, we must have read articles or attended conferences about the disability.  For those of us who have felt challenged by communication difficulties with an individual with autism, we must have interacted with at least one person with autism.  For those of us who feel we know how to connect with individuals with autism, we must have done so through building relationships with multiple person with autism.  For all of us who have heard the statement, “If you know one person with autism, you know one person with autism” and get it, we must have spent a substantial amount of time with multiple individuals with autism and enjoyed their company.  For those of us who feel we could teach an individual with autism, we are lucky.  “Shades of Gray” was written to encourage anyone willing to listen with an open mind to go beyond knowledge of characteristics of an autism diagnosis to active participation in promoting reciprocal relationships with individuals with autism.

General Discussion Questions:
After listening to the song, it may be helpful to read and discuss the following questions:
  1. Based on the song “Shades of Gray,” list any behavioral characteristics that might be associated with autism?  Discuss how these behaviors might relate to the way individuals with autism process sensory (ex: sight, sound, touch) information.
  2. Why does the author state that words may seem ‘foreign’ or ‘like jumbled sounds’ to an individual with autism?
  3. Can you derive suggested approaches for interacting with an individual with autism?  If so, list these approaches and discuss what might be the purpose for each?
  4. Why is the desire to be alone mentioned in the lyrics of “Shades of Gray?”  Why might an individual with autism need to be alone?  Are there times when you might need or want to be alone? 
  5. The lyrics of “Shades of “Gray” suggest the need for preparation when changes might occur.  What changes might an individual with autism need to be prepared for?  What might happen if the individual is not prepared for short- or long-term changes in his/her environment or life?
  6. How can we learn from the reactions of individuals with autism?  What reactions should we be looking for?  What can we do to change our actions based on these reactions?
  7. What about his/her world might seem ‘gray’ to an individual with autism?  How does this relate the idea that individuals with autism often have difficulty comprehending abstract concepts?
  8. Specific to DVD: What are some of the different emotions displayed by the child in the photographs?  Can the emotions be directly linked to the environment or objects in the child’s environment?  If so, discuss each.